Rejection

Everyone experiences rejection at some point of their life.

How can we help you?

How’s me are a team of experts from a variety of professional backgrounds who can give you confidential online information and support.  Whether you have a quick question or need to resolve complex issues How’s me has the answers you need.  We look forward to hearing from you.

Rejection takes many forms and can affect any adult or child, at any point of their lives.  Examples of active rejection are bullying, teasing or generally making fun of the rejected person. Passive rejection will take the form of more underhand tactics such as ignoring someone or giving him or her the silent treatment.

If these rejection behaviours are allowed to become established within relationships they can be very damaging for the person suffering the rejection. It is therefore crucial to transform both the rejection behaviour and in some cases necessary for the rejected individual to alter their responses.

Anyone can learn new coping skills and how to change their responses; the experts at how’s me can provide the necessary guidance to teach these coping strategies. Just ask!

Some examples of rejection are

Childhood rejection

Romantic rejection

Social rejection

Childhood rejection
Our first experiences of rejection can take place in childhood.  A parent, an adult, our peers or friends, our brothers and sisters or any other significant person can reject us.

The impact of this rejection will depend upon how that child is feeling at that time, their personality or their stage of physical or emotional development.

It is a normal part of our development to experience rejection.  It is important to learn how to manage the emotions it creates and develop coping strategies to enable us to rebuild relationships after experiencing rejection.

Usually children who are outgoing, more aggressive, physically active and assertive and those who are able to communicate well and posses’ good social skills tend to be popular and experience less rejection from peers. However, the important factor might be that these children are not as sensitive to rejection from their friends and peers and are therefore less affected by the incident.

Children who are less outgoing or like solitary play are also less likely to be affected by rejection as they have developed a comfortable zone, a safe place to play and occupy themselves.

However, children who are socially inhibited and show signs of anxiety or insecurity are at higher risk of not coping with rejection and may feel very sensitive.  These children can be greatly affected by an incident of rejection.

Children affected by rejection are more likely to have lower self esteem, low confidence and be at greater risk of internalising emotions and problems which can lead to low mood, isolation, depression and may continue to affect them in adult life. It can become a problem in school if the anxiety caused creates barriers and affects a child’s personal development and academic learning.

Children who are rejected by their peers can be bullied and tend to have less friends. These children need to learn how to build friendships with other children to prevent isolation.

There is help available for children experiencing rejection.  These programmes support children by showing them new methods of coping and encourage them to develop new friendships or to rebuild existing friendships.

An expert from How’s me can provide a working formula to help and support anyone to manage their experiences. Contact the team we are here to help.

Social rejection
Social rejection is when an individual is deliberately rejected, ignored or excluded. It can make it very difficult to build relationships or form social interactions. it can also affect an individual’s confidence and self-belief in their abilities and skills.

Social rejection includes both peer rejection and romantic rejection.

People who are feeling insecure or vulnerable may feel that they are being rejected even if it has happened unintentionally because they are feeling more sensitive.

Everyone experiences a degree of rejection as part of every day life because of the way in which we communicate and socialise.  However, rejection can become a problem to people who are exposed to prolonged or constant episodes of rejection.  This can cause people to feel socially isolated, lonely, depressed and aggressive. These people may go on to develop low self-esteem, low confidence, compulsions and addictions and start to self-harm.

Before rejection becomes a larger issue in your life ask for advice, How’s me has the specialist knowledge within the team to provide the answers.

Romantic rejection
Romantic rejection is when an individual rejects the romantic advances or intentions of another resulting in the ending of an existing relationship.

This type of rejection, as with any rejection, can be an emotionally painful experience.  Someone who is rejected can suffer a wide range of negative emotions ranging from intense anger to frustration and confusion.  Poor understanding of why they are being rejected can result in a lack of acceptance that the relationship has ended.  This can lead to bewilderment and despair.

Men tend to respond to romantic rejection with more rage and aggression than women and statistics show that it is rejected men who develop stalking behaviour.

The team at How’s me understands the emotional pain that romantic rejection can cause, ask a question in confidence about your situation and the team will endeavour to resolve your issues.

Our need for acceptance
The reason we find rejection so difficult to deal with and so emotionally painful is due to the social nature of human beings.  We all have a basic need to be loved, accepted in groups, to be able to give and receive affection. It is such a basic need that it is as important as food and warmth (shelter) for human beings to survive or in modern day life to thrive and develop both physically and psychologically. 

Without the correct level of social interaction, social contact and interpersonal relationships individuals can feel unsatisfied with their relationships and begin to feel lonely and unhappy.  There is a need for both stable relationships and satisfying interactions with the people involved in these relationships.

Pressure from our peers can create a fear of rejection and therefore cause us to change our behaviour to be accepted and to fit in with the group.  There are times in our lives that we might be feeling stressed, for example when we are moving house, changing job or school or joining a social activity or club, at these times we have an increased need to have a sense of belonging to a group. 

Our life experiences and how we are feeling will affect our ability to cope with the ever-increasing stresses and pressures placed upon our lives. 

 If you feel you need some support describe your experience to one of the team and they will help.

Updated: 28th September 2009