Bullying

Do you feel like you are being bullied?

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Bullying is when someone acts towards another person in a way to cause them harm or upset. This is intentional behaviour to cause harm and distress to the others. Bullying does not only happen to children and young people, we can all be victims of bullying.

Bullying can take the form of a verbal or physical attack. or there can be more subtle methods used to manipulate and pressure individuals to behave in a way that the bully requires. Bullies can use these subtle methods to give themselves power. Bullies can harass and intimidate us verbally, physically and emotionally. The bully might feel that they have more physical power or that they have more social power and authority than their victim. They are acting in an unacceptable way that is morally incorrect often for their own personal gain or satisfaction. Bullying behaviour can take place anywhere and is common within relationships, families and marriages in some cases it will be a form of domestic violence.

Are you being subjected to this?

· Someone spreading rumours or harmful gossip about you
· Name calling
· Making threats and intimidation
· Making things up to get you into trouble or make you unpopular
· Sending offensive text messages
· Making silent or abusive phone calls
· Sending offensive or intimidating emails (Cyber bullying)
· Make your friends fall out with you
· Make you less popular and cause you to become isolated
· Stealing from you
· Damaging your possessions, clothing or work
· Hitting, spitting, pinching, biting, shoving, pushing and tripping up

THEN yes, you ARE being bullied!

Are you being bullied at work?

Being bullied at work is very common and sometimes difficult to identify and tackle. This needs to be stopped.  The organisation should support you as bullying will lead to poor performances, raised levels of absence, high staff turnover and low self esteem for the work force.

The effects of bullying can be very damaging, you can feel so frightened that you pretend to be ill so that you can avoid the bully. This can lead to increased sickness and absence from work, college and school. Bullying behaviour can be found in many areas of life including sports clubs and other social activities. Bullying in the workplace can mirror those behaviours above but will also include,

· Being told you are stupid and not up to the job
· Persistent criticism
· Being Isolated and making you feel vulnerable
· Behaving in a discriminating manner
· Abuse of position at work to make others feel intimadated

Bullying is not about someone being bossy or who has to manage you in a structured way to maintain standards or safety, it is about persistent and unpredictable attacks that leaves you feeling intimidated.

All work places, schools and colleges should have anti bullying policies in place. These are there to protect you and to try to make the environment a safer place for all of us. It is your right to ask to see the content of these policies and see how they can protect you from bullying.

What you can do about it

Once you have admitted that you feel bullied you need to find someone safe to talk to. There are ways of tackling bullies but it is very hard to find the strength alone and much easier if you have some support.

Feeling bullied is not acceptable and if you are feeling bullied you need help now to change this  intolerable situation.

Cyber bullying.

Cyber bullying this is the new way to bully others using the internet and modern day technology.  Cyber bullying includes, malicious text messages, emails, silent phone calls, abuse through msn messenger, abusive blogging or adverse content on social networking sites.  Cyber-bullying includes using information and communication technologies to deliberately deliver intimidating behaviour to another person. Cyber bullying behaviour is often repeated and can be delivered by an individual or group, its intention is to harm, hurt or embarrass  others.

The cyberbullying can include,

Being teased and called names,

Someone spreading rumours,

Being forced to do things that you do not want to do.

Being sent abusive text messages, emails, or silent phone calls. 

Continuing to send e-mails  to someone who has said they want NO further contact with the sender,

Being threatened, hate language, sexual remarks, ganging up against an individual using forums and posting false information to humiliate and intimidate.

Abuse and threats whilst interactive gaming.

Sending viruses or hacking programs, in a attempt to destroy their computer or delete personal information from their hard drive.

Cyber bullying can also include the cyber bully disclosing the victim’s personal information such as real name and address, school or college that they attend. The cyber bully can also give out the victim’s password and publish information on sites in their name to embarrass them. The cyber bully can send threatening emails and messages to others using the victims name this causes others to dislike the victim and isolate them as friends start to avoid the target of the cyber bully.

Cyberbullying behaviour is not only used by children and adolescents it is used by adults. Although the behaviour is the same due to the difference in the age group it is referred to as cyberstalking or cyberharassment .

Cyberstaking or Cyberharassment is delivered from adult to another adult. As cyberbullies they inflict emotional pain on another. There methods include vandalizing search engines and websites; they aim to threaten the victim by damaging their reputation, employment, income, status, relationships and safety.

The effects of Cyberbullying.

The effects of cyberbullying, cyberstaking or cyberharassment can leave people feeling mentally vulnerable, anxious and very upset. Although cyberbullying, cyberstaking or cyberharassment can not physically injure the individual the emotional damage can be massive leaving the individual feeling scared, lonely, depressed, trapped and unsure of their future. One of the most damaging effects is that a victim begins to avoid friends and activities, often the very intention of the cyberbully.

Harmful effects of cyberbullying, cyberstaking or cyberharassment .

There are a number of serious consequences of cyber-bullying the victims have lower self-esteem, increased suicidal thoughts, and a variety of emotional responses including, cyberbullying back, frustration, anger, and depression.

This can lead into damaging self destructive behaviour in an attempt to release some of their pain and torment in forms of self harm or the use of alcohol and drugs.

Trying to manage this degree of stress can make the individual physically ill and unable to function. This can then lead to increased sick leave from school, college or work.

Cyberbullying in the workplace.

Cyber-bullying is not limited to personal attacks or children. Cyber harassment, referred to as cyber stalking is when adults bully other adults using modern technology, it can happen in the workplace or on company web sites, blogs or product reviews. There is more evidence suggesting an increase in cyber bullying in the workplace.

Methods of cyber bullying, cyber stalkers and cyber harassment.

Other methods used by cyber bullies, cyber stalkers and cyber harassment is to post false reviews and vote products down. They can use forums, journals and other online means to present a victim in a false and unflattering light. The question of liability for harassment and character assassination is particularly difficult to prove due to the authors of the offending material, usually being anonymous and untraceable. Abuse should be consistently brought to companies or websites attention.

Motives for cyberbullying, cyberstalkers and cyberharassment.

Motives for cyberbullying, cyberstalkers and cyberharassment can vary; the reasons can be due to previous romantic involvement, a business conflict of interest, or personal dislike. The target is frequently someone whose life the cyberstalker believes or feels possess elements lacking in his or her own life.    There can also be a direct financial reason for adults to become cyberstalkers or to cyberharassment others. Competing in the same profession can be a motive to try and sabotage another’s reputation, or they could be a direct competitor in the same market or a main competing supplier or alternative supplier for the same product or service.

Another reason for some one to become a cyber bully, cyberstalker or to cyberharassment another as unlike physical bullies at school or in the workplace they can remain virtually anonymous using false names, they can set up temporary email accounts, block the identity of the sender and mask their identity in many ways over the internet and this frees them from the normal feelings and consequences of their behaviour. As the cyberbully, cyberstalker or cyberharasser is using electronic methods to convey their abuse it takes less courage and effort to inflict this assault upon another as using a key board or text message is easier than using ones voice and coping with the reaction. Therefore the cyberbully, cyberstalker or cyberharasser feels animated by their behaviour and it can make them feel more confident.

Further explanation regarding the cyberbully, cyberstalker or cyberharasser.

The traditional bully was always at risk of their behaviour being observed by figures of authority and then having to face the consequences and possible punishment. Unlike cyberbullying, cyberstalking or cyber harassing which can be inflicted easily lacking supervision.

Also as some of these messages are only viewable by the sender or recipient they can be difficult to police or intervene. In modern day society where the electronic world is always improving and advancing at an accelerated pace, some teenagers and young adults know more about computers, technology and mobile phones than their parents.

Therefore whether they are a victim or perpetrator they are able to operate the technology without the supervision or assistance of an adult. Most of the population today is inseparable from their mobile phone therefore we are contactable 24/7 this makes any target for cyberbullying, cyberstalking or cyber harassing easily accessible and they can attack from any unknown location. traditionally a victim would be safe from bullying once they were in their own home or with their family but a cyberbully, cyberstalker or cyber harasser can infiltrate their home as the target will have their mobile, laptop, i phone or blackberry with them.

The use of photographs can be particularly distressing for victims as these can be edited to cause maximum humiliation to the victim. Digital cameras and cameras on phones can be used to intrude the privacy of others an example of this is the recent, “happy slapping” attacks which are the filming and sharing of physical attacks on individuals by groups and then posting the images on the internet.

Once these have been published on the internet they can be potentially viewed and down loaded by millions of people. There has also recently been another method of cyber bullying called “bluejacking” which is when the perpetrator uses “bluetooth” wireless technology to send anonymous text messages and hate messages.

What ever methods a bully uses they need to be stopped and there is no excuse for their behaviour it is unacceptable to behave in a way and causes another person pain and distress. As technology and society develops legislation will also be developed to protect individuals from such abuse and educate society on prevention and self protection.                

Let us help, the first step is to tell us how you are feeling and one of the team can provide you with the support you need to overcome this difficult stage of your life.

Ask for help and start to stop this today

Updated: 1st October 2009