Bereavement

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Are you experiencing bereavement, loss or grief?

Bereavement is experienced when you have a death, a loss, or even a major change in your life.

Bereavement is made up of lots of different emotions as your mind and body try to understand what has happened and to readjust to the new situation. This situation maybe a different way of life, planning a new future without the person who has gone and gone forever.

After experiencing the death of a friend or family member, those left behind can be astonished by their emotional responses and the range of intense feelings they live through. This can be frightening and may add to a state of disbelief and bewilderment.

Some examples of experiences are,

Feeling a high level of physical and / or emotional pain.
Going over and over the events that led up to the death, doubting their decisions and actions.
Wanting to ask more questions.
Disbelief / Shock / Numbness.
It feels like a dream.
Shocked by the amount of time it is taking to deal with the grief.
Frustration that it is always with them.
Being less tolerant of others.
'Just AS I was feeling better I had my FIRST family birthday AND it brought it ALL back.'

Adjusting to the loss or being able to accept that this loss is permanent is difficult.

When someone close has died, the sense of loss is so great that you can feel that you have lost a part of yourself. In this case you will have to recreate a new identity as a single person and you may have to learn these new skills at a time when you lack confidence and doubt your ability.

Bereavement is unique to each of us. All of our previous life experiences and our current situation affect our ability to cope. If you have experienced more than one bereavement or loss in close association, the effects of bereavement can be more difficult to manage.

A bereavement or loss in traumatic circumstances might cause additional challenges to over come. The side effects of this particular type of loss might result in flash backs, nightmares and post traumatic stress disorder.

Understanding loss, grief and bereavement can help. Communicating with an expert in this area may help you rebuild a sense of general well being and help you plan your future.

Bereavement comfort words.

What do you say to someone who is experiencing bereavement?

What words of comfort can you say to the bereaved?

The first place to start when deciding your choice of bereavement comfort words is to ask yourself the question?  What is bereavement?

Bereavement can be described, “As the loss of someone or something that is extremely precious”. Bereavement is mostly used in the context of the loss of a living being, whether a human being or an animal. However, it also can include the loss of an inanimate object or the ending of a relationship, or change in situation or status. 

What words of comfort can be offered to bereaved individual?

Begin by allowing the individual to express their feelings, if they express the need to share how they feel. Encourage them to release their feelings.

The pain involved in letting go, the anger, frustration and guilt are all a part of the normal grieving process, leaving them feeling empty, alone and without purpose for a long time. Allow them to tell you how they feel, listen to what they are saying. Don’t tell them how you think they should feel, or how you have felt. They need you to listen and encourage them to continue explaining and exploring their thoughts and feelings. You cannot take away the hurt and pain of their loss. Be careful not to use clichés.

How to act whilst delivering your bereavement comfort words.

Be there for them over the months that they are experiencing their bereavement. Express your concern and empathy towards their present situation and be there on a regular basis. Always encourage them to tell you how they feel, and listen when they tell you. If you know a certain time of day is particularly difficult, do try to plan your visits to coincide with that time. 

Bereavement comfort words that remember their loss.

Remember when delivering your comforting words of bereavement to mention their lost one by name. Do not avoid mentioning the loved one’s name for fear it will remind them of their loss. If they cry, then they needed to cry and the tears may be tears of appreciation that you have given them the opportunity to share their loved one with you. If you have a good memory of their loved one, do share it. Encourage them to remember their lost one and share those memories.

Remember that it is very difficult for a bereaved person to ask for help.

Every day activities can be very difficult for a bereaved person. They often find crowds, shopping and holidays overwhelming. Offer your help, you might have to keep offering time and time again before your offer is accepted. But they will appreciate your concern. When they are ready to share they will as long as someone is there. Each person is unique and deals with loss and grief differently. However, watch for signs of self destruction or self harm and be prepared to intervene if needed.

 Providing bereavement comfort words is a task that everyone will face at some point in their lives and the above tips can help to reduce anxiety at this difficult time.

If you describe how you are feeling one of our team can provide you with the appropriate level of support, let us start helping you TODAY.

Updated: 15th September 2009